It took me some time to realise that, first, I wasn't in the right place, second, I didn't know that ENERGY IS MANAGEABLE, you can create it!
I've learned that to achieve something, you first need to learn how to stay in great state by reaching emotional and physical mastery. That's when I really started to go for my dreams, manifest and achieve them.
I've also figured that female energy is quite different from male one. For centuries we were dominated by male energies and rules of achievement. It s time we learn how to succeed THE FEMALE WAY because we are different!
You can't go far on self-punishment and will power, it's time you learn how to generate sustainable, loving, feminine energy and put self-love, faith, acceptance forward!